There Is An Iguana In My Shoes

I hope you know that those palefaced, malnourished little sickly kids Francois and Johan from that show The Real Housewives of New York City (which incidentally wrapped up with a less than AWEsome finale yesterday) can say the title sentence in like five languages. Proving that even babies can be better than adults, with enough money.

Anyhoo, hey! Look over to the right! Your right! What do you see??? The correct answer is mp3s, good boys and girls! I have a lot of them and I figured that now is as good as anytime to share the fabulosity. Pass the pleasure around, I always say, which is why I'm a firm believer in sloppy seconds...and thirds...fourths...whichever. But I decided I have soooo many of those little two letter-one number music bytes that I'm gonna break bread with my bros and hoes every week! Awww yeah, soak up the rays of sunshine like an overaged beach bunny suburban mom in Los Alaminos with a lifetime membership to Sunset Tan, 'cause there're gonna be new songs in the sidebar on the first of every week! (And yeah, the rent'll still be there on the fifteenth of every month...)

Makes you just wanna say YEAHHH BOIII!!

And speaking of Flavor Flav, homeboy is in a new show on TV One (ummm...if that doesn't ring a bell, it's the only television station that still shows reruns of Good Times, K?) and I predict nothng but nonsense to ensue. I'm guestimating some cameos from the more famous Flav girls, a lot of that cackling he does, and some shit ass acting. I'm excited, aren't you? Could just shit ma pants right nizzow!

In other equally grand, and yet not as important news, the bomb chicas of Missbehave hooked all us ladies up with a look deep, deep, deep inside the echoing, dank, drippy cavern of a man's mind with a little column called "Dealbreakers," penned by Captain and Shark (no, not their God-given nomenclatures). It's a fabbity fab fab list of things some chicks do that make guys, and their little guys, wanna run for the border faster than an illegal alien in an INS search. One that I really like:

"Girls who call each other 'bitch' or 'slut':
'What's up bitch?' 'Not much, slut! You know, just slutting around.' Great. We can't have sex with either of you."

Tee hee.

Read more after the jump in the No.7 issue of Missbehave Magazine, k? Thanks!

So heed the warnings, keep it funky fresh, and land yourself a midnight cuddle buddy in no time. 'Cos you know that Carebear you sleep with can't touch you in that place without leaving a carpet trail.

Your electric bird,
Erika

O Hai!

Damn, this cheese is good. I mean really good. These microwaveable mac 'n cheese cups are THE SEX. And they're cheap. No wonder black people die of heart disease so much.

Hmmm...moving on, I've noticed there's like this weird sort of interplay between "old" (over 22) people and "young" (18-21) people. "Young" people are hip, can talk with fake British accents to assert their hipster status, and wear head to toe vintage that they paid far too much for while working in Urban Outfitters and biding their time till they can drink legally, all while chugging down the PBR their "old" roommate bought last week. In turn, "old" people can speak sagely about experiences they have yet to experience, try to figure out life for themselves while telling everyone else how to live theirs, buy wine from the liquor store (hoping the clerk asks for ID, though they know they will), and biding their time till they can either rent a car or run for president.

"Old" people like talking about Earth, Wind, and Fire nostalgically, even though they only know them 'cos their parents played the 45's during childhood.

"Young" people like wearing Earth, Wind, and Fire on a throwback tee they bought at The Kids Are Alright in Echo Park.

"Old" people like to wistfully remember riding the bus to work, to school, and to clubs at midnight in the inner city.

"Young" people like to ride the bus at midnight in the inner city, only to catch a cab from wherever they got off just so they can go to Starbucks the next morning and tell their friends they've ridden the bus at 12:00 am in the inner city.

It's obvious there's a generation gap between slightly old and new. Even with my boyfriend and I, who are only five years apart, sometimes it seems like I'm dating my older, wiser brother. But there's still a generation gap and I'm not looking to bridge it. I don't care if my coworker grew up on Blossom and I grew up on Full House. I had a bomb ass childhood and I can actually remember the first episode of Rugrats, 'cos I was there when it premiered. Oh well, I can't say I was there when Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire. But I can say I was there when Michael Jordan did Space Jam.

The same gap exists between my age group, the "young" and the "younger", but you don't see any 18 year-olds watching Hannah Montana and saying, "Damn, I remember when her father came out with the 'Achey Breaky Heart', and was on Doc." We know we're better without having to constantly validate our feelings.

Is anyone right? Nah. Is anyone wrong? Mmmm...maybe. I do know that I will for totally outlast all these hipster chicks that like to chase their Pabst with a Marlboro. Why? Porque I was born after the 50s and I know what it can do to you. Hah!

Your electric bird,
Erika

I've Got Your Eyelids

O.M.G. infinity symbol! I have just fallen in complete and total ardor with Crystal Castles! Firstly homegirl has mad style and her haircut is hella cute and that dude with her could totally hang with Justice, right? Am I not right? Hahaha...to avoid running the risk of sounding like someone who's completely ignorant of their brand new obsessh, Crystal Castles is Ethan Kath and Alice Glass and they're taking over the scene with gale force homie! I became like soooo totally besotted with the two feisty, fast fingered felons of the foot stomp while listening to them on Indie 103.1 in Santa Monica. Indie 103: radio for champs, yeah!

photo courtesy of andrew kendall

But like for real dudes, Crystal Castles are the shit. They're named after She-Ra's pad (BTW you're fully not allowed to ask them that or they'll get all tired of answering the question and shit, so don't) and they turn out just about any venue that books 'em. Hey, does anyone think they'll be here in three years when I can go see them live? Chances are, with the the way house's golden children can go from Shirley Temple to Baby Jane Holzer in the blink of a blog and the flavor of the day changes with the color of the ecstasy tab, prolly not. But there's no harm in enjoying what we've got right now, is there?

CC's self titled debut album is for sure out now (so you better get it, K? Thanks) and they're touring like madmen in the UK right after finishing a few nondescript house shows in warehouses and such around California, so you should catch them while they're still in vogue, K?

The best song - EVER - that Crystal Castles has is "Crimewave", which, in any hipster's terms, is not actually CC, but Crystal Castles v. Health (an equally hipsterish sort of group). Still, regardless of who originally put the song together and who remixed it and who gets the airplay, "Crimewave" is the shet. So much the shet that CC is pimping out tees broadcasting just that single. "Crimewave" has a sort of wave of its own. It's fecking awesome, my man.

You can peep Crystal Castles overrrrr here! and frolic in the heavenly dreamy madness that is "Crimewave" he-errrrr. You can also check up on various Crystal Castles remixes, at the 'Toof, where those dudes are mad blessed to get their hands on some primo shit.

'Cos, like, for serious dude, I luh Crystal Castles to pieces and beyond!

Your electric bird,
Erika

While You Were Sleeping...

I bought WHY?'s Alopecia from Criminal on Saturday. It's amazing, like moody, dark, and bleak. WHY? is really the hipster's answer to emo - I take that back actually. WHY? is the hipster's answer to Cake. With a little bit of Atmosphere. And Weezer. Just not...emo. Even still, the album is really good and cheap, since it only costs 9.99.

Speaking of music, and Atlanta, we're less than two weeks away from National Record Store Day! Yes, it means you should totally squeal with glee like a little schoolgirl. It's totally called for in this instance. Now about that time you found a Diane Von Furstenburg top for half off...But the lineup of bands playing live is amazing (I still cannot believe NRSD is fur-reee!) and it includes: Judi Chicago, Noot D' Noot, the Coathangers, Anna Kramer and the Lost Cause, and Manchester Orchestra, among many others. It's gonna be RAD. The sidewalk sale means reguluarly priced CDs are going for about a dollar and I think they said 9 dollars for a set of 4 is the most money you'll pay. I heard there was going to be a benefit CD made up to raise funds for the dudes and dudettes living over in Cabbagetown since their shit got like vaped in the stormnado...but I'm not sure.

It's still worth looking forward to. Free pizza too, BTW.

And about looking forward, for the few people on earth that read this blog, I'm going on a little vacay to LA to look at colleges with my mother (fun.) so I won't be here for about a week. Not like you read this or anything, but if you care, yeah, that's where I'll be. You'll have to get your interesting info from others...who? I just don't know.

I just don't know. PS Charleton Heston passed away, K?

Your electric bird,
Erika

My Hood Versus Your Hood

Ay! It's been a hell of a good start for DJ mixes 'round the way. Although I'm not gonna lie, sooo many songs get repeated from mix to mix that it's not even funny. Well, actually it is funny in a "I'm so different but so similar" kind of way. You know, like goth and punk kids.

Anywaysville, I've been shamelessly promoting DJs from here to Haiti these days, and though my affiliation with them doesn't go much farther than an enthusiastic fan, who doesn't like free press?

We start our selection off with one of the dopest groups of DJs in the world right now: The Hood Internet. Missingtoof peeped these dudes first, back last year, and now, as they would say, you too can peep scene. Most DJs generally limit their mix selection to electropop, electropunk, or that zany, out of the way shit that makes me reach for my pacifier...just kidding. But it's a little hard to get into, mostly because the bass/high hat combo and constantly chopping and screwing of the songs gets really annoying fast. If I wanted to hear Simian Mobile Disco repeat the same four words over and over again, I would listen to those same four words over and over again. See? But noooo, the crew at The Hood Internet is past that. In fact, they were past that before they even got to it, that's how transcendental their shit is. On their mix, aptly titled The Mixtape Vol.1 , the crew mashes Fiest, CSS with Rick Ross, Crime Mob with the Shins, and Swizz Beats with Deerhoof, just to name a few. Mad props if you can name all the songs mashed together without looking at the tracklisting! Anyway, you can peep the mixtape here, or here, if you wish. And while you're at Missingtoof, don't forget to give these dudes their well deserved props.

Moving on, we have Drastik, 1/4 of the Canadian DJ set known as Stylusts. On his (I think) most recent mix, Hipsterific Happy Hour, he takes us through a story of music with transitions smoother than chilled Grey Goose. My favorite part is his nice incorporation of Treasure Fingers, who reps the A-T-L every chance he G-E-T-S. Also notable is his use of Simian Mobile Disco's "It's The Beat" to transition into Li'l Mama's "Control." But if hour long DJ mixes aren't your thing...well, I can help you out a bit. BTW, get Hipsterific Happy Hour he-errr!

Villians aren't usually a thing I like to promote, mostly 'cos they haven't exactly stood for morals and justice, which I heavily endorse. (Well, easy on the morals, heavy on the justice.) But these Villians have birthed a sweet little minimix just for you, whether you don't like long mixes, or your house party just ran a bit short. At about 22 minutes, you can listen to this on your lunch break and still have time for Pilates before you go to work. Sweet! You can get the Villians mix here. (Just scroll down the page) Fully absorb the club atmosphere in your speakers, playa.

And that's all for now. Konichiwa bitchesss!

Worth listening to: Millionaires. If the Coathangers went to a rave in 1988.

Your electric bird,
Erika

Things What Make Me Happy This Week: Spring! Celebrity Apprentice, and Sweet Justice

Ahhhh...it's been long time no blog for me, mostly 'cos I've been reading other people's. Did anyone else know about that one blog dedicated to the style of Claudia from the Babysitter's Club? Which makes me ask when Shelby Woo will ever get her due...She was witty, styling, and completely rad for being one of the few Asians on Nickelodeon. Dude, it was hard back then for a pimp in '96...psshhh...

But to the point...it's Spring! Whoot! Even though the first day was 'ella cold and mad windy, it was still soooo sunny! I love Spring, but Autumn is still my favorite season. And it's almost April dude, which puts us days closer to the first annual National Record Store Day...!

Moving on, unless you don't own a television, can't access the TV Guide Channel, or don't live in the proximity of a liquor store (so you gotta be in the 'burbs), you have no excuse not to watch Celebrity Apprentice on NBC. I mean sure, the show's not so sweet after the jump, and Omarosa's ass got kicked so far to the curb, the streetsweepers had to avoid brushing it up in those big broom thingies, but still, who doesn't like watching C-list celebs (who still think they're big name stars) kiss Donald Trump's rich pale ass? That is so something I can't say no to. Ahhh, sometimes it's just refreshing to have the pecking order reinforced from time to time.

And finally, some fully sweet justice was recieved today (by me, of course) - but before I ruin the story's ending, I should get with the set up: this dude named Eli and I don't get along. We just don't. And not on my part, 'cos I try to include him in convos and shit, but all he likes are baseball and computer games, which keep him from getting his articles in on time (I'm an editor for The Catalyst newspaper). And we especially butt heads when it comes to politics, since I'm right and he's wrong 90% of the time. Did I mention he was a Republican? Well, now you know. Okay, so this whole Elliot Spitzer thing just gave him the smuggest grin I ever saw. He came in and tried to tell me Democrats weren't so holy after all. But then I countered with a healthy jab at our current Commander-In-Chief, which I guess he just could not handle, 'cos then he went on to write an editorial about third party candidates and Dems and blah blah blah blah blah...the point is, someone actually wrote to us bashing the shet out of Eli, which just made me smile, because it was nothing but sweet, sweet justice!

New Be Your Own Pet album out now! Everyone can get awkward already!

Your electric bird,

Erika

Things What Make Me Happy This Week: Louise, Stuff White People Like, And Glass Candy

Oh, March is here! And that, in turn, means Spring is here. Granted, Spring won't officially be here for another few weeks, but it's seventy degrees over here and the sun's shining. And that's Spring to me!

So this week, after my doting love lush on Them Jeans, I have a few more of my favorite things. First up is Louise, the mysteriously gorgeouisie gal that's recently popped up once again on The Sartorialist. She's making a tidal wave sized splash on the Internet, showing up on a million fashion blogs. I guess this makes it a million and one. I'm inclined to make a Cory Kennedy

comparison, but I'll hold off, don't worry. Still, this girl has some mad crazy Parisian style, and though the haters are out in full force, I'm still thumbs-upping her. If you go to the Sartorialist's blog and check her out, surely her flaxen dishwater orange hair, sans lens Ray Bans, and high waisted miniskirt (daring out the wazoo, son) can definitely persuade you to j'adore her. Alright, my French isn't that great...but, then again, I speak Spanish.

Moving on, we have the best blog I have ever read (aside from my own, duh), which would be Stuff White People Like, an ongoing list (up to at least 76 by now) of shit white people stereotypically enjoy. I ran across it in an email, and I totally vote it the funniest shit ever. Those who are easily offended, well, should leave America, but those who like to laugh at lighthearted stereotypes and common "white people" jokes will for sure get a kick out of this.

It turns out white people like being the only whites in ethnic restaurants, bottled and filtered water, and standing at concerts. Ah, the Belle and Sebastian joke is sooo much funnier when you've actually seen it.

And finally, we move onto Glass Candy, which is completely not slang for the sharded up apples creepos give out on Halloween. Or the stuff those wannabe X-Treme kids jump through on their skateboards when making amateur home movies to send to Jackass. No, this Glass Candy is the lovechild 80's synth and modern disco. Ultimately, it's slamming, but in such a Studio 54, LSD at two am, tiny disco ball earrings and your panties down at your ankles kind of way. It's the kind of music you would listen to while wearing a slightly permed and teased hairdo, stilettos, and a beaver coat (in the middle of the summer).

BTW, Ida No (the sassy blond vocalist) is beyond precious and even though Glass Candy permanently resides in Funky Town, Earth (I'm assuming that's somewhere between New Zealand and the Tropic of Cancer), and they probably will never tour over here, you can ALWAYS catch 'em on their myspace, which has all the groolest music a pill popping, false lash mastering, drama queen super chick needs.

OMG, that's kinda like me!

Your electric bird,

Erika